Sports

My Nuts Got Crushed

The Nutcrackers were crushed by the Wicked Pissahs at last Saturday night's roller derby bout. Final score was 142 to 41. Yes, they were beat by 101 points. I'm depressed. You can learn more about The Boston Derby Dames at their website. Hopefully the next bout will not be a blowout.

Here are two BDD hopefuls for the next bout.
New Prospects
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Yes, her brain was replaced with a horseshoe

I just read my niece's latest blog post in anticipation of a certain football game taking place this Sunday in the land of corn. I am very sorry to say that the former New Englander was most likely the victim of an act more gruesome than the results of Dr. Frankenstein's experiments. Instead of bolts protruding from her neck there is a horseshoe swelling from her frontal lobe. Obviously the folks out there need to take some lessons from the doctors that produced those pretty ladies from Stepford. Thankfully my grand niece Olivia is staying true to her New England roots. Her traitorous brother however, has obviously been under the influence of his father while his mother was under the knife.

Proper Attire for New England Stock
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Roller Derby!

Yes sports fans, there is a roller derby league right here in the Boston area. They are members of the Women's Flat Track Derby Association (WFTDA). Roller Derby traces it's roots back to the Depression-era days. It has seen popularity in the 50's, 70's and is now back in the new century. The athletes are smart, edgy, athletic and know how to have a good time. A coworker of mine, Lois Carmen Dominator (#011), is a member of the Boston Derby Dames and skates for the Nutcrackers.
LCD Flexes for the Camra
I'll quote from last night's program about the origins of the Nutcrackers:

Expelled form the Académie for conduct unbecoming of a dancer, this troupe of ballerina bruisers sought a sport where their talents for cussing and brawling would be put to better use. Trading toe shoes for quad skates, The Nutcrackers are now kicking ass and breaking legs with the Boston Derby Dames.

Need I say more? Well I will. This is a really fun time and great entertainment for the whole family, except for the cussin' part. It is part serious, part tongue-in-cheek, but the ladies supply a lot of action packed excitement well worth the price of admission. Once you figure out how points are scored you'll know when to cheer. And cheer you will! Along the way there are thrills and spills that keep the sport interesting, The skaters really enjoy themselves and although they are competative there is a lot of inter team comraderie.

Last night's bout, Red Scare on Swan Lake, was the Nutcrackers first bout of the season. Unfortunately the 'crackers took a beating from the Cosmonaughties who are still reved from their last victory against the Wicked Pissas. Better luck next time for the tribe with the tutu's.
Red Scare on Swan Lake
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